The Letter

Amma,

 I remember that day  when I found worry myself, must be in my 4th grade, when you were late from work and I was so startled. There were no mobile phones then, I didn't even know whom to call from the landline, I was just so worried about you. I went to your room and felt an uncanny stillness in your last day's saree, touching the drapes made me wail. I was praying hard for you to be alright, waiting with tolerant eyes for the door bell to ring, to wrap my arms around your waist, to press my face on you, to smell your precious scent.

 And I was never that thankful to finally hear the incessant ringing of the bell, your trademark, to let me know it's finally you at the door! But I didn't wrap my arms around, even when I wanted to, I was slightly embarrassed, and to conceal my newly found worry I just asked casually," Why were you late amma?"

I could see that vivid happiness on your face to hear that from me, you didn't say a word but held me close and kissed my head, I never felt that safe before, it was probably a long waited reward for all the worrying! I could comprehend  the sullenness and the beauty  of the feeling which succeeded.
       
 Now that I am bracing myself to chase some dreams which am yet to fathom, I see you in my place, 12 years back. And that is not a happy place to be, the wait is disorienting, but what comes after is always worth living for. I am shy, I am in a reverie , but that can never alter the same richness of love I have for you, even when I hesitate to show what I feel, You will always be the best part of my life!

Love

Ann


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