The PAST

22nd MAY 8.00 am

Truly unforgettable, the time when my 12th grade board exams results were out, I couldnt sleep at all the other day, I was praying atleast I cross the 80% deadline, else I'll be grounded for the rest of my life..! And the worst part was that I even dreamt of scoring a 77%, a pretty good score, that's a distinction, but that can never satisfy my parents who'd seen their proud daughter scoring a 90% in her 10th board examinations. I thought ,do dreams really come true??
With trembling hands I typed in my roll number, a zillion thoughts ran through my mind then, what if I flunk?, what if mom and dad stop talking to me? what if I go insane seeing my own marks? Still somehow I got the courage to hit the 'Enter' key. And there it was beautifully displayed to turn my beautiful life to a not so beautiful drama later...,

English 89
Mathematics 60
Physics 87
Chemistry 79
Computer Science 75

Yep my total % was just 78, and then began the day which i never ever want to recollect, my mom and dad called me 'incapable', 'lazy brat', but the worst part they were ashamed of me rather than disappointed or feelin sorry for their only daughter's failure. Mom even told her collegues that i got an 85%, I colud only cry, and they cursed my tears, I thought about the time I wasted, I thought about my best friends who were into all the fun and mischief but in the end came out with wonderful results.! I thought about that 'lost me' who was once a very bright student, by this time mom had already taken the role to make me feel terrible, my eyes were swollen crying...and that's when I wrote this


"To Mom, with love - Ann

Strange as ever
when I fail to recollect,
that last time i said
'I love you mom'.
Sadly things turned out this way,
that I even fear
you'd stop loving me.
I was on the couch crying,
or even cursing my silent self,
for not making you proud.
A total looser that's me
still it hurts when you cry for me.
But then you came and hugged me tight,
I could do nothing
but weep even harder
just to know
how much you still love me!"

I wrote it from the heart, and my mom finally understood that i was deeply hurt, later on she was the one who lifeted me up =)


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